My STANDARDS are of GRACE not PERFECTION! 3-6-19
Mar 6, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JGhmFJbn-M

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good morning peeps Oh Holly I was like I
need to say good morning to my peeps no
really good morning good afternoon it's
you know two o'clock in the afternoon
but we had a ton of things we were
getting accomplished around the house I
am starting to feel like I am getting
things under control like excuse my hand
like I feel like I'm starting to see
things going in a grid good good
direction for us so always hopes you
know with with the with the way things
flow in our home and things like that so
truly excited about that let's see I
we are gonna we have a list of things
that we've got to do today which is all
good because you know we're all with our
loved ones so what does it matter I
don't know why I'm yes we're gonna go
and get the kids their birthday coffee
because we didn't get to go the other
day cuz mama was sick so we're gonna
make it up for them today so they get
their birthday coffee it's actually like
a chocolate frosted thing with birthday
cake mix in it or I don't know something
some fun thing for them so anyways I
gotta go to dollar store to pick up a
couple of things and then I got to go to
the grocery store I want to run by Hobby
Lobby because I'm looking for some
Gullit Oz if you guys have any ideas of
anywhere that they sell like bull
glitter hold on honey
bulk glitter let me know in the messages
below the comments below because I have
been looking online I can't find where
they sell like like bulk where I feel
confident to buy it online and not be
able to see it so I prefer to have
somebody have been like has worked with
it or seen it in person because you can
get some and they're like so see-through
that it takes like four and five you
know covers to get it to the color
you're wanting
so anyways I'm looking for like
holographic ones and all sorts of fun
things so anyways if you guys have any
ideas where I might be able to find that
I have already tried to Amazon and I
really am not to impress what they
Amazon to be honest with you so I don't
think Amazon's gonna be an answer I do
want to go look at Hobby Lobby I want to
see I know that they have sells yes
sweetie and
Michels I didn't see any at Michael's I
don't know I must be looking in the
wrong spot because I asked the lady and
she was like yeah it's in the book
scrappy area but I looked and I don't
see any so I don't know and the ones
that I did see oh yeah the ones that I
did see they were actually like almost a
dollar more than even warmer but the
thing with Walmart is warmer only has a
very few selection and they don't have
like the chunky glitter or they don't
have holographic and they don't have any
of those and those are kind of some of
the ones that I'm getting orders for so
I really need to find some certain
glitter so anywho I am going to jump off
and spend some time with my little
babies because they clearly need my
attention hold on and then I will check
with you guys in a little bit
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don't forget you guys styling it up
thank you thank you
do you like it okay sorry I am dying of
thirst and I wanted to show you guys the
one I'm drinking right now it's the akai
blueberry pomegranate vitamin water zero
dududu and it's zero everything oh
excuse me
Carver carbohydrates is four grams one
percent not sure that is one gram of
sugar zero protein zero fat zero sodium
doesn't say anything about potassium
zero calories I love these things you
guys I get the ones that are zero
calories so the vitamin water is zero
and I find them at my local grocery
store finally I for the longest time I
couldn't find them and so
I just so happened to one day go check
this one place and you guys are flying
go and check this one place out and sure
enough lo and behold they Adam so oh
right in the world okay anyways I am on
my way to the store really quick I need
to go grab a couple of things and it's
6:30
ezra is sleeping which my co no late
naps are not a cool thing in my
household but John now anyways so I am
on my way really quick to the store and
then for dinner tonight we're just gonna
have sandwiches just turkey sandwiches
are actually no we got this meat from
the store when we were at the grocery
store I was gonna show you guys what we
got today but I am so sorry
the kids today was just I I don't know
it was a weird date with my kids like my
kids are never ever ever ever truly
truly whiny and nothing like that but my
kids are really whiny today and in the
store it was a joke like I did not even
vlog there was no way no how no zero
Zippo nothing that I was going to
vlog today because it was just crazy
they were screaming and just I don't
know they were just having it like I
just I'm a weird day
so anywho I am going to close for a
little bit and go to the store and then
I will check in with you guys and a
little bit I just I need to get to the
store before it's too late
but I today for some reason my tummy's
been a little bit upset but I kind of a
little bit of a stressful afternoon so I
go through PayPal for all my
transactions when it comes to vinyl nut
business and anything like that I always
do PayPal it's just it's secure it's
easy and I never have an issue however
the other day somebody made a payment
for some blankets to be finalized and
personalized and I invoiced her she sent
the payment and PayPal put my payment on
hold so like when you go on a payment it
will say payment or no sorry it will say
like the amount you have available then
in the middle it says payments being
held and then it has where because I
have my things set up to where I put
money in a savings thing and so I was
looking at that the other day and I'm
like what the heck the money didn't come
to my account so I just so happened to
see we're on a little tiny icon it says
money held so I clicked into and sure
enough there's money being held which is
the payment that from this lady and I'm
like what in the world is going on so I
call PayPal they're like oh no no sorry
I did some just like pushing buttons and
like trying to do a little bit of
research and they're seen
the payment can be held for up to 21
days yada yada yada all the stuff and
I'm thinking oh my gosh like how in the
world can my payment be held for 21 days
like that's just it doesn't it clearly
does not make sense so I'm sitting there
stressing out like stressing out and so
they turn around and I called them and
I'm like what's going on here like why
why is my money being held
well because it's a new thing that we
started with business owner or know with
people that are making payments for
transactions and oh no not all the stuff
so we hold your money that's nice
you had no problem taking my fees out
but you're gonna hold my money like
absolutely not gonna happen like this is
unacceptable so unprofessional like this
is not okay
so and it clearly wasn't the ladies fall
like it had nothing to do with her it
was all me and PayPal so for three days
you guys three days I have been going in
circles and circles and circles with
PayPal fighting with them calling them
doing everything I can
well this lady happens to be in the
hospital with her son because her son is
sick so I'm feeling so bad because I
have to keep bugging her because I'm
trying to get this squared away first
they tell me well we're gonna send an
email to her have her it open up the
email push accept transaction or I don't
know something like that it's gonna
release your money immediately into your
account okay great
well neither one of us received an email
so
a couple hours later I call them back
and I'm talking to somebody else cuz you
know I every time you call somewhere
you're gonna talk to somebody else so
I'm talking to somebody else and they
say oh no if you have her number we can
do 3-way and she can verify it over the
phone
I'm like oh no I'm like okay well let me
try and get a hold of her because I
don't have her number so I messaged her
but she wasn't on messenger so she says
why and then she finally messages me not
too long after that is like oh my gosh
Amy I'm seeing your message but I'm at
the doctor's with my son I'm thinking oh
my god like this is just not happening
right now so I told the guy I'm Michael
I guess we'll have to call back you know
when she's not busy because she said the
doctors with her son so he says okay so
I waited around but she was busy with
her son lo and behold she she ended up
in the hospital with him so clearly he
was really sick and I you know I feel
horrible that I keep bugging her so
today I call ahright messaged her again
no no no sorry I did message her again
so somebody else puts an order in for
one of my tumblers so I do the
transaction same thing as I've done
millions of times over well not millions
of times over but same thing I've done
quite a few times over PayPal holds my
money again now I'm furious now I'm like
oh my god so mad so I call PayPal and I
let them have it like I ripped them a
new one and I was just you know I am not
that type of a person like I am very
understanding I understand things happen
I understand that there are you know
things that they you know steps that you
have to take as I get it I get it 100% I
get it but at the same time you know
it's so frustrating when you call and
you talk to somebody else every single
time every single person has a different
scenario to how this is gonna be taken
care of and by the end of it none of it
ever gets taken care of so I call today
because I was just I was beyond done I
was so so mad so I I said okay well let
me let me talk to this person the person
that did the transaction this person is
on our channel but I don't want to say
the name because I you know don't have
permission to say our name so if you see
me you're seeing the whole story you
know exactly what I'm talking about so I
call or no I messaged the lady and I
said you know this is what's going on
can I get your phone number do a
three-way because now they're saying we
got to do a three-way again sure sure
sure no problem I'm like okay so I get
the number I call we do through it they
walk us through all of the steps oh no
no no sorry I called I talked to the
people sorry and they tell me oh well
she's got to go through this step this
of this of this of they know should be
in time okay great
so I tell her to go through step by step
by step well somehow they take double
the money out and put it into my account
now they have two transactions of furs
on my hold Oh
by this point I'm done I'm just done so
I called and I use I'm very not nice
words to the people
and I explained my frustrations very
very well and I think they got every
color in my face visualized so we ended
up doing three-way with this precious
person and we got it all squared away
and fixed but by the end of all of this
and by the end of my story of what's
been going now ten minutes now is the
moral of the story is I was so stressed
out today because not only did I do the
two transactions which were being held
but then somebody did a transaction with
me and the money just went missing out
of all of my account I seen it there and
then it was gone I couldn't find the
persons information could not did oh my
god it was such the stressful moment so
by the end of it all I ended up calling
or no no no I ended up figuring out
where this lady's information was and I
found the money somehow it ended up in
my bank account rather than my PayPal
account which is fine
I mean both are fine they're both
connected to me so it doesn't make a
difference but I was stressing out so my
poor husband got my all my anxiety he
got it all dumped on him because I was
just I literally had had it and it was
like I'm so sorry honey this is so not
fair for you to have to deal with okay I
don't know if there's a car right there
but I got to get over you know I was
like I'm so sorry
you know and he had to leave he had to
go and do some errands and run some
stuff so when he came home I apologized
i sat him down I was like honey I am so
sorry
between the kids and between all this BS
with PayPal and this other money that's
missing which came found and all this
stuff going on I was like I am so sorry
that you got the blunt end of it all and
I said I apologize
it'll love you so much I was like now I
got to go to the store he's like go go
but you guys oh my gosh it was just a
stressful afternoon and I am like I
think my nerves have been shot so much
today that I am just like I don't know
if anybody else does with anxiety this
way or if it's just me but you just lose
your your appetite you lose everything
you almost feel kind of sick and that's
what I was feeling
especially when the money had went
missing I just I literally had just got
like physically ill in the car I was
like I feel like I'm eating carsick and
all these like it's not you getting
carsick it's you are upsetting yourself
so bad he's like calm down we will go
home I will sit down with you we'll
figure it out
I'm sure it's there it's just you're
overseeing it which it was it was I was
purely overseeing it and it wasn't just
that - it was it went into a different
account so here I'm looking at my PayPal
account which I thought that's where I
had vision originally that's where I
thought I seen it but it wasn't it went
to my bank account so I had to transfer
that money into my savings again that's
just a little mess but by the end of it
all it all worked out everything is good
everybody is still alive we're all
breathing well thank God and we just you
know it's one of those moments where you
have to keep telling yourself breathe in
breathe out breathe in because it's
really not that bad
yeah
that's the moral of it all so anywho I
am going to close here for the night I
will check in with you guys early in the
morning and do our reading before I post
this vlog since you guys know that I am
so good and so um what is that word
called popular with you know closing my
my vlogs early in the morning but anyway
so I will check in with you guys in the
morning and do our reading and then I
will close and post this so I hope you
guys are having a wonderful wonderful
evening and I will check in with you
guys in the morning
good night good morning good morning
it's great day to snow
we woke up just know like a winter
wonderland snow hopefully hopefully it
will stop because Amy's gets to get some
stuff done around here I mean I've got
plenty of things to do around here but
ya know it is what it is so I told you
guys that I would do my closing this
morning by doing our reading because I
didn't have my book on me last night so
let's let's get to our reading now I'll
give you guys a few seconds to grab your
book for the ones that do have the book
I really need to go to Walmart today
like really but I don't know if that's
gonna happen
I called this school actually cuz I was
like when do you guys like call this
school off and they were like well it's
not sticking on the ground so we
probably won't call out unless like
district ly we close and I'm like okay
so I'm just figuring well I'll wait a
little bit and see I just didn't want
Maya to be stuck at the school or
something you know and I need to get to
Walmart I'm trying to find some glitters
and some other stuff cuz I've got some
more fun tor tor tor Toria
I got some more fun things planned for
me to do so yeah that's that is my plan
I got let's get to our reading really
quick before I forget so we are on
February 3rd I wish they could just put
the page but I guess because they go by
the date that's probably why they don't
put the page today I choose to hold
myself to a standard of grace and not
perfection let's read that again today I
choose to hold myself to a standard of
grace and not perfection and you know
honestly we could take that in so many
ways like you could really think of that
in in so many directions for me I take
that as you know I hold myself to a
standard of I I do the best I can you
know I'm not going to say that I am
something that I'm not I'm not going to
portray that I'm something that I'm not
I'm not going to try and do a job that I
cannot do but I'm gonna have grace
within myself that the standards that
I've placed beyond myself are things
that I can control for instance you know
I've had a two people out of everybody
else that has said that my craftsmanship
on my tumblr ZAR not up to standard
which everybody has their own opinion
and I completely respect that 100% that
you know people have an opinion on
everything and that's okay but you know
really stopping and looking at you know
my my job you know also just for the
fact base that I just started I just
started making these like this is
something I mean I've only made a very
few handful of them and I'm proud of
them I think they're turning out
beautiful for what I know that I'm doing
right a lot of love and and grace goes
into each and every one of them
so for me I take that reading as a
thought of my standards that I place
beyond myself or ones that I know that I
can control that you know again at the
end of that it says you know and not
perfection meaning I'm not going to try
and perfect something in the eyes of
somebody else so for instance the
comments being you know the comment to
that have been made about my tumblers
you know they're not up to par you're
you know you're charging too much for
them for your craftsmanship they're
nothing like the other ones that I've
seen and that's okay but you know that's
the beauty of having things made
handmade is every individual makes them
the way that they know how to make them
but I'm not gonna place my standards
upon other people but I'm gonna place my
standards upon what I can do and what I
challenge myself and what I can master
each and every single time even like
doing my vinyl in my business and my
weight-loss you know I haven't spoke
much about my weight loss a lot lately
and I know that I started this channel
as a weight loss well hold on the
merfairies I I didn't start it as a
weight loss I started as like a shopping
haul channel and then I switched it up
because of going through life journey
changes within my weight loss my mental
health my physical health my emotional
you know healing being a mother being a
wife just you know there's so many
things that run on my channel that I
haven't been speaking much about my
weight loss and it's not that I am
shying away from my weight loss it's not
that I am you know not doing those
things but also within the time that I
have been on my channel I have faced
multiple different health issues as well
along with being diagnosed with like
endometriosis and having cellulitis and
you know and those those are not weight
induced diseases that I couldn't you
know that I have but there are still
things that I want to share with you
guys so know the standards that I place
within myself
of my channel is you know that yes I may
not concentrate 100% on my weight loss
but because there's a multiple amount of
things that I'm concentrating on within
this channel so you know yes I'm still
working on my weight and yes you know I
am still doing things to advocate my
weight loss and a healthy journey of you
know body but at the same time we're
dealing with my emotional health my
physical health my mental health and all
in between and I want to bring you guys
along for everything but I also don't
want my videos to go for three hours
because I could easily talk for three
hours you guys and you all would
probably be asleep maybe but I just you
know that really speaks a lot of volume
to me that you know yes it is true you
hold yourself to your own standards of
grace don't place your standards on
perfection you will never ever ever
perfect anything so don't don't put your
efforts into it too perfect because
you'll never ever do it put your
standards to what you can hold yourself
accountable for and be at that and be
happy with that because and that is
enough you giving your all that you can
do is perfectly enough it shouldn't be
any more than that and it shouldn't have
to be any more than that just because
others view something as a standard that
they think it should be doesn't mean at
all that that's the standard it needs to
be and I've had to accept that even with
my channel even with my youtube channel
you know I've come to you guys and I ask
you know what have I done wrong or what
do I need to do to you know build my
channel more and in reality I've had so
many people say Amy why do you ask this
channel is for you you're sharing this
is your story if we wanted to hear other
people's stories they need to create
their own channel so we can go and
subscribe but we don't want to hear what
they are want you to tell them we want
to hear what you want to hear or what
you want to share and that's so true so
some days you get you know outside vlogs
some days you get sit-down vlogs some
days you
it Ally vlog you know I mean there's so
many different aspects to my channel and
I have to be completely 100% transparent
with you guys and also keep respect for
each and every individual and their
opinions but also realize that this
channel is here for me to share a
platform of my life for you guys and to
give you guys an ocean ocean ocean a
note of encouragement that you're not
alone going through all the different
aspects you guys are all going through
some on my channel are on weight loss
journeys some are on mental health
journeys some are on fertility journeys
and some are just here just to watch and
I love every bit of it I love every
aspect of it because that means that my
channels reaching so many different
dialogues of people and that makes me
feel like I'm perfecting what I'm
supposed to be doing which is what I've
placed beyond myself for this channel to
be here so I don't want anybody to feel
like oh my god you know she's getting
you know cocky or she's getting attitude
I'm not at all I'm not at all but at the
same time I that book-reading really
meant a lot to me because I can only
perfect what I can do I can't perfect
what anybody else places standards on
and that's for everything so anyways
enough of that and mati I am going to
close so that I can reopen my next walk
I hope you guys enjoyed the closing of
this and we really really really really
really place that reading upon your
guys's hearts and really take that into
account you have to place your standards
upon yourself don't let others place
those standards of perfection for you
because you'll never meet him you'll
never meet them you'll never meet those
standards and you'll always feel like
you're letting people down so be good to
yourself love yourself encourage
yourself embrace yourself and love
yourself because all those things are
the things that you can do for yourself
nobody can do it for you so anyways I'm
gonna close now I will see you guys here
soon bye bye
